I'm not sober yet.  I woke at 4am and was restless.  This happens often, but usually earlier in the night.  I haven't found work yet in a new city, which hasn't been good for managing my alcoholism. I've always managed, but known for years that I need help.  It pisses me right the fuck off that if I went to jail, that I'd get free treatment, but as a law abiding citizen with no DUI's. etc., treatment is too expensive.  With our current insurance, I've finally found help.  I'm on my last drinking legs.  Yes, I woke early, hungover still from last night, and drank anyway to be able to sleep more.  I know it won't make me feel better, but I did it anyway.  Today is Thursday.  Monday night is our (me and my husband)  third quit smoking class and our last day of smoking.  Tuesday morning I  enter day detox for three days.  It's time for me to become the butterfly I was always meant to be.  Thank you for reading.  I will document this as I go.